You remember the attitude that she so visibly (and understandably) displayed towards you during your trial.
The gesture takes you by surprise and eases your mind. Henderson holds out her hand, insisting that you shake it.
#T pain epiphany torrent torrent
While you sit there motionless, barraged by a torrent of emotions, an unusual thing occurs. Henderson, is standing directly in front of you. As you sit down, you realize that your victim’s widow, Mrs. You are going to seek forgiveness from the person you harmed. But this time you are walking straight towards the gripping fear you have been running from for the past twenty years. You’ve been to the visiting room many times before, but it had always been to see someone you were friendly with. Remember to let me know if it becomes too intense for you.” While you never expected such an opportunity, your many hours of group and individual therapy have made you ready. So you agree, and begin to mentally prepare for the meeting. Davenport is persistent, even a bit pushy. You really have no need or desire for any reminders of your crime, the greatest shame of your life. But you have come to like your life as you have formed it. Your life has been relegated to four very close walls dotted with locks all about you, and not an exit light to be seen in the near future - if ever. As a prisoner, you have been tucked away, all but forgotten. On the streets, you were a beast who never forgave, nor expected forgiveness. This restorative process is totally foreign to your way of thinking. She’s worked tirelessly to get through the governmental red tape to facilitate this rare meeting of restorative justice, which stands in stark contrast to the ever-unforgiving model of vindictive retribution and endless punishment. From those meetings you learn of the deep damage you wrought in the lives of your victim’s family. You have had numerous meetings with her, and feel embraced by the empathetic energy that she so generously provides. Davenport has presented herself as a kind, forgiving, trustworthy human being. You relish in the fact that she sees you, racked by decades of guilt and shame, now aching to make amends. She sees beyond the cold, written record of your past, and views the present softer, gentler person who is reaching for help from his core. You are a six-foot-one, two-hundred fifty pound black prisoner deeply ensnared in the clutches of the criminal justice system, perpetually stamped as violent and dangerous. Davenport is a petite, demure Caucasian woman. The mediator is the exact opposite of you. Her soft, feminine voice calms your nerves but your underlying fear lingers. “It’s almost comedic when one considers the name, the Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.” She chuckles drily. The concepts of forgiveness and understanding are foreign to the correctional system.” She loosens up. “Can you do this? Do you really have the strength? Can you actually go through with this?” Mind and heart racing, you wipe your sweaty palms across your “Prisoner” stenciled pants as the mediator reads the obligatory legal statement, “…and you hereby release the Department of Corrections of any injury or liability arising from this meeting.” “Man, they sure are covering themselves, aren’t they?” you utter.
You listen carefully, until your concentration is interrupted by a myriad of concerns. Dressed in a beige knee-length dress, the middle-aged woman shakes your hand and goes on to prepare you for what will transpire during this meeting. “Hello,” whispers the mediator in a raspy voice tinged with a slight Midwestern accent. But now you have an opportunity to finally see the effects of your actions and you are afraid. After all, you are a murderer, a man guilty of extinguishing human life and plagued with a debt that you can’t pay. With the mask of a tough guy, you have always prided yourself on your fearlessness. This is the day you stop running from your wretched past. As you sit in the foyer of the prison visiting room, you know that this day would be as far from normal as any other day you have ever experienced in your multiple decades in prison. Polk The drab grey walls amplify the overwhelming sense of enclosure.
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